Needless to say, but I’ll say it anyway, Cathy is getting a log of pregnancy-related items appearing in her Facebook and Instagram feeds. This pregnancy question and answer list is probably the funniest I’ve seen in a while. It’s one of three “found on Facebook” humor items I’ve posted. There’s one here and another here.
Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough.
Q: I’m two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby’s sex?
Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she’s borderline irrational.
A: So what’s your question?
Q: My childbirth instructor says it’s not pain I’ll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you’re pregnant.
Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word “alimony” means anything to you.
Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby’s diaper very quickly.
Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
Although it’s painful, childbirth is the least of Cathy’s worries. She has no idea what she’s in for, this being first and possibly only child. I’ve probably experienced more than she has, and pregnancy is a woman thing.
I do a lot for Jon and Cathy while she’s pregnant. There’s one thing that I will not do after the baby is born. I will not be changing any diapers. She and they (including my wife, Josie) will be incredibly lucky if they see me even hold the baby.