Hot Buttered Corn – Hobo Joke
I heard this hot buttered corn joke sometime between 1985 and 1987. When I originally typed it out and put it on a website, I had to do it from memory. I couldn’t cheat because I couldn’t find this joke anywhere on the net. I’m sure it has appeared elsewhere since I first put it up, but I assure you I was the first one to publish it on the web as it is. I have moved the joke from website to website over the years and I’ve cleaned it up a bit in the process. It’s still an adult joke, but at least it isn’t as completely vulgar as it was the first time I put it out there. If adult jokes bother you, please move on.
Hot Buttered Corn
Two hobos were walking down a farm road, and passing a farmhouse, when one of them spotted two pies cooling on an open window sill.
The first hobo says to the second, “I’m gonna go ask to see if we can get one of those pies. You wait here, okay?” The second hobo nods and waits out of sight, salivating at the thought of eating some pie.
The first hobo knocks on the door, which is soon answered by an ugly old woman. “Ma’am, I spotted those pies on the window sill and was wondering if I could get one of them from you? I’ll work for it, if need be.” The old woman responded with “Follow me into the kitchen.”
Once they were both in the kitchen, the old woman said “I haven’t had a man in many years, since my husband passed away. I’ll give you both of those pies if you’ll have sex with me right here, right now.” The hobo thought about it while looking around. He spotted some ears of corn on the counter near the window and had an idea.
“Well, if you’ll just turn around and bend over across the kitchen table, I’ll take care of you,” said the hobo. The old woman, excited as she was, complied instantly by pulling off her clothes and doing exactly as the hobo said.
The hobo reached behind his back, grabbed an ear of corn, shoved it in and serviced the old woman with it for at least 5 minutes. When he saw that the kernels were all soft and wet, he tossed it out the window. The old woman screamed “More, more!”
The hobo grabbed another ear and another for the next 30 minutes. When the old woman indicated she was satisfied, she turned around and said “Okay, I promised the pies to you. Go ahead and take them. Thank you for the pleasure of your company.”
The hobo grabbed the pies and headed out the door and found his friend near the window sill. “Hey,” he said, “here are the pies. Let’s go eat.” The other hobo looked at him and said “No thanks, I’m full. I just ate a whole bunch of hot buttered corn.”