I’m an Ex Smoker Again (Tobacco) – This Time is Different

cigarette ex smoker Earlier this year, I wrote about becoming an ex smoker. I wanted to defeat certain demons of my design. Well, I didn’t do it the way I wanted to do it, but I did it just the same.

This time is different, as I’ll explain.

I don’t expect to become a tobacco smoker ever again. It has nothing to do with my thoughts on the matter. I enjoyed smoking until the day I quit (this time).

I’m an Ex Smoker – I didn’t Stop, I Quit

At some subconscious level, I’ve wanted to quit (permanently) for years. “Self-loathing”, “depression” and “anxiety” in all their various forms kept me doing something I didn’t want to do. Rephrasing, they kept me from doing something I wanted to do.

I’ve “stopped” smoking many times over the past 40 years. Yes, I was a smoker off and on for 40 years! It doesn’t matter if it was one stick or 40, they all counted. Every time I stopped, even for a couple of days, I had incredible cravings. Eventually, any excuse was good enough to start smoking again.

I quit (yes, quit) smoking last month. It’s been more than two weeks, but I haven’t counted the days. I can honestly say “quit” because I have had absolutely no cravings. I was sick when I quit, but I don’t think being sick had anything to do with it.

I really can’t tell you what happened, other than it was a “cold turkey” event without any repercussions. Zero cravings and zero urges, even when around smokers.

I’m not Avoiding Smokers

I’m really not avoiding smokers. One sister-in-law’s husband and one nephew are the last smokers living in the compound. Everyone else stopped. Some stopped before I did and some stopped afterward.

Unlike the last time I stopped, it doesn’t bother me to be around the smokers (there are too many to count in this neighborhood alone). It doesn’t affect me one way or another. The last time, I had to avoid the smell of tobacco because it caused me to crave it.

Never Say Never

I’ve already had people attempt to tempt me, if you know what I mean. I can’t say I will never start smoking again. I don’t know what the future holds. I know that right now, right here, I have absolutely no wish to smoke tobacco ever again.

One thing I can say for sure. Food doesn’t taste the same. Some tastes worse and some tastes better. The taste of food is the only thing I really have to get used to.

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