The Problem is that I’m a Code Wrangler, not a Code Monkey

binary data - code People tend to group programmers together, but programmers don’t do the same things. Most programmers consider being called just a programmer an insulting or derogatory oversimplification of their skills. Call a programmer a “code monkey” and you’ll get the look of death. They prefer “software developer”, “software engineer”, “web developer”, “software analyst”, etc.

Despite my programming skills, I’m not a programmer. You can call me a “code wrangler” because that’s what I do most of the time.

I’m not a Code Monkey

I’m sure, if I put my mind to it, I can do anything when it comes to programming. Unfortunately, the “middle-age” years snuck up on me and now I really don’t want to do that much anymore. I’m not a “code monkey”. When I was younger, about 20 years younger, I could sit at a PC for hours and hours and code until I couldn’t keep my eyes open. Those days are long gone.

I read a lot about programming. I try to keep up with the latest software and hardware developments. I’m familiar with PHP, JavaScript, Node, Python and Ruby on Rails, but I just don’t care enough to go beyond PHP.

I’m a Code Wrangler

What that means is that I can take a piece of code and make it better than it was before I got my hands on it. Or at least different from what it was before I got my hands on it. I wrestle with code.

I can wrangle some JavaScript and I can wrangle some PHP, but I just don’t care enough to mess with other languages.

Me and WordPress

WordPress is the application software I love to hate. It’s an awesome piece of work but it’s missing a few things I think are important. I totally understand that it’s a content management system (CMS) and a blogging platform all rolled up into one. It’s still missing something.

I’m talking about caching. No, I’m talking about static files. WordPress, out of the box, is designed to be dynamic. Pieces of every page and post can change dynamically because it’s driven by PHP. The problem with dynamic pages and posts is that they tend to load slower than the average visitor can accept.

WordPress is fairly mature. It’s been around for well over a decade. It does a lot of neat stuff that I find hard to replace. I’ve worked (as a side project) on a custom CMS for longer than I care to remember and I still can’t get it to do what WordPress does. To be fair, I’m a lone wolf and WordPress has hundreds of people working on it.

My side project will probably remain a side project. It’s easier for me to write code that hooks into WordPress than to roll my own. Caching is only one example. None of the plugins do what I want them to do. I want static files from the get-go, not as a result of pages being visited. I don’t want anyone experiencing dynamic pages.

You don’t want to Read about Programming

Unless, of course, you’re a programmer. It doesn’t matter what you call yourself, code monkey or code wrangler, you know what I’m talking about.

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